I want to stop wanting.
This summer, I once again found myself getting insanely jealous of other people’s yards. Many friends on my social media feeds are, like me, parents of small children. I watch their kids playing in play houses or frolicking in sprinklers and I covet. I covet hard.
How nice would it be if we could go outside whenever we want without it becoming a whole big production? You want to give your kid everything and more, but the truth is there is always more to want.
Surely it’s more important to foster a sense of gratitude and contentment in your child, right? It starts with us. How do we teach ourselves to say this is enough? I am enough. What I have is enough.
Wanting Just A Little More…
The comparison trap, so prevalent on social media, really is the fucking worst. It seems like we’re assigning everyone the same life goals and the same timeline to achieve them. Does anyone else find this strange coming from a culture that prides itself on personal freedoms and individualism?
How easy is it to get pulled back in? This is how we stay in touch with loved ones that we rarely get to see. It’s hard to notice that you’re slowly growing more envious of these airbrushed images of perfect lives. Consciously we know that isn’t real, however our lizard brains are there below the surface, telling us how much easier life would be if we had that next big thing.
Lately, I’ve been obsessing about having outdoor space. When we bought our townhouse three years ago, all I wanted was air conditioning. Before we moved, all I wanted was a washer and dryer. Maybe a working dishwasher? Oh, and plumbing that didn’t periodically flood our apartment.
We have almost all these things now. We have everything we need and more, so why is it so hard to focus on what we have instead of what we don’t have (yet)? Will we ever feel satisfied?
Want to Live in the Goddamn Moment?
Planning, organizing, and list-making are a few of my favorite things! Sadly, so many things in life can’t be planned. Sometimes, planning for the future removes us from the present. It’s hard to be grateful for what you have right now, if you’re always thinking about the next thing.
Planning is great, but if you’re putting off happiness until you get a new car, or a house, or a bigger house, or a better job – that’s a problem. This is hard for me. I don’t enjoy uncertainty, but that’s life. All we have for sure is this moment.
Maybe we all need to stop and force ourselves to look at what we have. It could be material comforts, or our loved ones, or our health. When things are really bad, it might just be hope that it will get better.
If you stop and examine everything you have, gratitude comes on strong. You may start to feel like a greedy asshole. Don’t worry. That is a good sign. Self awareness always comes with a price.
Guard Against Lifestyle Creep
Lifestyle creep is when your old wants become your new needs. It’s incredibly sneaky and tends to rob us of contentment. It keeps us from living within our meaning (See what I did there?). It can also keep us from saving what we should, thereby preventing us from living within our means.
No one wants to be stuck in the hamster wheel of working more to buy more. Try living with less. Simplifying (and organizing) can help put things into perspective, so you can appreciate what you do have. Gratitude for life as it is, will silence the constant wanting.
Turn your wants into goals. Make it a priority to be fulfilled by your job, or to spend more time with your family. Greedily collect gratitude.