Potty training is a long and challenging endeavor. My son is 28 months old, and I had the feeling there wasn’t ever going to be a perfect time to do this.
When I was given a couple days off work, I decided to commit. I canceled my fun weekend plans and chose to spend that time solely focused on the bodily eliminations of the tiny human who lives in my house.
Every parent who has been through potty training has strong opinions. I received a lot of unsolicited advice (my favorite). As with most things, different approaches work for different kids. Here’s what has worked and here is what hasn’t – by all means, take it or leave it.
Potty Progress
I was about to wing this process based on some general thoughts I’d collected, when at the last minute, I decided maybe I should read one of those potty training books.
Luckily, most potty training books are fairly quick reads. Many parents I’ve talked to, swear by Oh Crap! Potty Training by Jamie Glowacki. I ended up using the method described by Brandi Brucks in Potty Training in 3 Days. As someone who has worked with young children for over a decade, the reasoning behind her approach made a lot of sense to me.
Brandi’s Best Tips
Straight Outta Diapers
Many methods tell you to let your child go completely naked from the waist down while they are first learning. Initially, I assumed this is what we would do, however Brandi’s method goes straight from diapers to undies.
Some argue that underwear feels too much like diapers and confuses children. Makes sense, right? The thing is either way you go, the first few “accidents” are necessary learning experiences. Also,underwear do not absorb like diapers. My son quickly realized the difference between wet and dry.
Wanting to keep his Daniel Tiger undies dry and earning an M&M were motivation he needed to quickly start peeing in the potty. By going directly from diapers to undies we got to remove another step of the process, which I’m all about.
Little Potty or Big Potty
Eliminating extra steps, brings me to my next favorite tip. Skip the little potty chair! I know, I already had two ready to go, I didn’t want to hear it either.
Brucks recommends a toilet trainer seat that goes on the toilet. We went a step further and bought a family toilet seat, with a children’s seat built in.
Over the years, I’ve seen a lot of kids who developed a fear of the big potty. Their parents then get stuck constantly emptying those tiny little potties. Yuck. The way I see it, the world is full of regularly sized toilets. Learning to use them is a pretty important life skill.
Potty Pitfalls
The first two days, there were a lot of tears… from everyone. Our son would make amazing progress, then half an hour later, we’d be desperately trying to get him to stop planking and just TRY to sit on the potty.
Kids will make you feel like you are heartless. Why would you torture them like this, if you claim to love them so? Toddlers are pretty damn great at emotional manipulation. All you can do is commit to the learning process and refuse to go back.
Potty Pooping
This has been the greatest challenge. As I’ve mentioned before in Picky Toddler Problem Solving, our son does not like to poop. He didn’t like to admit he had to poop when he was wearing diapers. Now, he doesn’t like to admit he has to poop on the potty. It’s poop power struggle with this guy. ALL. DAY. LONG.
A high fiber diet and pushing water will only get you so far. In the end, they’ve got to be willing. It’s their sphincter.
Limited success pooping on the potty has come from basically camping out in the bathroom when it looks like he needs to go. Is it super fun to sit on the bathroom floor, singing baby shark on repeat? Not so much, but we have to keep trying.
Getting a break from changing diapers, makes everything worth it. In thirty years, we’ll have forgotten all about this. We’ll sound like our parents do now. In the words of my mother, “I don’t remember it being all that hard.” Someday, I’m sure this statement will feel true for all of the challenges involved in raising young children.
Until then, stay strong and good luck!