What if taking care of yourself isn’t all bubble baths and meditation? Self-care is a very popular concept at the moment. Like mindfulness and healthy living, renewed interest in these topics doesn’t mean these ideas are particularly new.
Our desire to be happy and healthy is obvious. There’s always a new diet, face cream, or workout to try. The idea of self-care certainly appeals to me as a mother. I often feel like I don’t have any time for myself. This turns me into a cranky asshole, which makes me feel like a bad mom, which then turns me into a very sad sack.
Pedicures and date nights would be amazing, but moms don’t have much time to focus on ourselves. Childcare is expensive. Time is valuable. Maybe practical self-care looks more like being a good mother to yourself?
Use That Maternal Instinct
Like a lot of people, I was not very good at taking care of myself in my twenties. When you’re tripping through those youthful years, life feels more like a challenge. How much abuse can your body take? How much chaos and turmoil can your mind handle? Ah, to be young and an idiot!
Becoming a parent can make you realize you need to take better care of yourself. It’s time to stop mainlining whiskey and get some life insurance, you grown-up, you.
There are an overwhelming amount of tedious details that need to be considered when managing someone else’s life. As mothers, we manage our kids’ schedules and see to their needs. We keep our households running smoothly. We take care of pets, and support our partners in any way we can. Many of us even look after our own aging parents. What is left after all that?
Just any need that you might have.
Don’t Be a Martyr: You are too Important
Yesterday was rough. My kid hasn’t been eating or sleeping much. Also, he has been a real asshole. It turns out he’s teething. Yesterday, I did not know that. Yesterday, everything seemed shitty for no reason.
I was so busy taking care of him, I didn’t realize that I was starving until I was making dinner. All day I made sure he was fed, but didn’t feed myself. I was pretty fucking hangry by the time my husband got home. I definitely saw the fear in his eyes. He was right to be afraid.
With so many people to take care of, it is easy to forget to take care of yourself. We have to remember to put those mom nurturing skills to use on ourselves.
Practical Self-Care
Mundane responsibilities, the ones your mom used to take care of for you (the ones that inspired the term “adulting”), are the key.
Mothering yourself takes the idea of self-care to a practical place. Handle those responsibilities! Get your teeth cleaned every six months. Go to the eye doctor or the dermatologist or whoever you need to see. Don’t just put sunscreen on your kids – you need it too! Remember, you need to drink enough water and eat a balanced diet, because you too are human and worth the effort.
Taking care of annoying responsibilities is pragmatic self-care. It’s self-nurturing. Having your shit together decreases stress and anxiety. When you look after your physical health, you’re showing yourself some love. It is an act of service. There is nothing better than servicing yourself (ahem), to bring some peace and tranquility to the chaos of life.
Take care, you guys.