I’m a little shocked at the person I’ve become. When my husband first got a smart phone, I hated it. He was always sitting there, holding it in front of his face, doing so very little.
I was the last hold-out of anyone I knew. The last few years of owning a “dumb” phone were stubborn bliss. I knew what was coming. I saw the glazed eyes, and slightly open mouths of my friends and family as they stared into the information abyss. When I finally broke down and got a smart phone, I joined in this communal obsession. It really is that good.
Love at First Sight
As someone in their early thirties, it has been incredible to watch the progress of technology in my lifetime. The internet and cell phones still blow my mind respectively. Put them together? Oh my god, Star Trek came true! Jean-Luc, where are you my love? ( Yeah, Yeah, Kirk was first, but Picard has my heart. He also had a tablet before anybody!)
Don’t you love having a tiny computer in your pocket? Google answers our every question. We all know that GPS directions > Thomas Guides. We always have a camera on hand, making for the best candid pictures. There is also my personal favorite, looking up something on Wikipedia and falling into a web of fun facts so deep, that you realize two hours have passed when you finally resurface.
What is our Phone Obsession Costing Us?
I spend too much time looking at my phone. Maybe you do too.
I can’t help but wonder what I would be able to achieve if I did something else with all that time. Chances are, I’d sleep better. I’d be all-around healthier with nothing but time to eat right and work out. My family would probably get more eye contact and affection. I might read less news and more Chick Lit. Those all seem like great things.
How do We Get Back in Control?
Change is hard. Often, I pick up my phone when I’m specifically looking to waste time. It’s an easy escape from having to socialize or think too much.
I absolutely worry about the behaviors I’m modeling for my son. Sometimes I can rationalize it. What do you care if I’m on my phone? You can’t even see me past Daniel Tiger right now. What’s the harm? Nobody’s perfect.
No. Nobody is perfect, but we can all try to be a little better.
As someone who grew up eating dinner around the television and not at the table, I’ve decided to try no tech dinners. My husband and I have talked about it before, but our kid is still little and largely oblivious so there was really no hurry.
It’s bad, but our phones often sit on the table during dinner. During summer, there is usually a baseball game playing on the TV as well. Since this is such obviously terrible parenting, I’m going to try to hold myself to slightly higher standard.
One Step at a Time
No tech dinners have been in place for about two weeks now. So far I’m really enjoying the change. It is a very small step. Honestly, I’ve been surprised at how much of a challenge it has been. Spending thirty minutes without my phone should be easy. Unfortunately, it’s complete habit to take it with me everywhere, all the time.
We’ve been sitting down at the table together and listing to music and/or actually talking to each other. It’s really nice to have set time each day to focus on our family. It’s a very doable amount of time, even for my husband, who much prefers playing on his phone to any kind of conversation.
Personally, I feel better about the behavior we are modeling for our son. I love to read because my family loves to read. Growing up, we’d all sit around the living room and read together. If I complained that I was bored, I was handed a book. I always thought that was normal. Sadly, it’s not.
When you have kids, doing the “healthy thing” for yourself often translates into the right thing for your family.
Once the reflex to grab my phone and take it to the table disappears completely, I’d like to try to get it out of our bedroom. That is a much bigger challenge. At this point, I’m proud of our little bit of progress.
It is not always easy to make healthy choices, but trying feels pretty good.